The below list contains major spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you are not caught up quickly leave and come back when you have gorged yourself on every last episode!
We have a while to wait before Game of Thrones comes back to taunt us with its gratuitous sex scenes and even more reasons to absolutely despise Cersei Lannister. Until then, I’ve lovingly crafted a list of characters from the show whose deaths were, in my opinion, not long or painful enough. Even though GoT tends to also kill off people we love and send our living faves into some pretty dark places, occasionally the show gives us the catharsis we are looking for and kills off someone we abhor truly and deeply. So here is a list of the 10 most gratifying Game of Thrones deaths, ranked in order of awesomeness.
Myranda and Ramsay were a perfect pair mostly because they were both pretty much psychos. I’m a bit protective of Sansa Stark, so this one here was on my list the minute she started going all “fatal attraction.” Glad she met a fairly quick demise? Yes, but she got off easy with a few story fall to the ground.
9. Alliser Thorne
This guy was a jerk from the minute Jon Snow stepped into Castle Black. For a minute there though, I actually thought he would fall in line towards the end, but of course that’s not usually how GoT plays out. Orchestrating an assassination of Jon Snow was such a bullshit move; because I honestly felt it was driven more by insecurity and power hunger than it was being upset about the Wildlings. Good riddance Alliser.
8. Twyin Lannister
I know it may be shocking to see Tywin so far towards the back of the list, but hear me out. Twyin was an absolute dick, don’t get me wrong. But most of the terrible stuff he did was kind of par for the course in the 7 Kingdoms. Twyin wanted to keep his family ahead of everyone else and would stop at nothing to do it, even if it involved supporting efforts to kill his enemies through sneaky alliances. He was perfectly fine with his son being hanged for something he did not do, which is pretty terrible. BUT compared to some of the other douches on this list… Sorry, not sorry you died on the crapper Tywin.
7. Roose Bolton
Poetic justice for this one here, getting stabbed in the chest by his bastard son. Honestly, Roose was a despicable traitor to the Starks and a disgusting human being in the way that he handled ruling his stolen land. Most specifically, he fully permitted Ramsay to do whatever he wanted and then rewarded him for his treachery. It was only fitting that Ramsay would kill him in the end. How stupid it was for him to underestimate Ramsay and think that his giving him the Bolton name wouldn’t put him and his unborn child at risk. Gratifying for sure, and so incredibly stupid to boot.
6. The Waif
The girl is no one now, for sure. Honestly, one of my current theories involves this one’s death being 100% intended as a training exercise. After all, she was no longer “no one,” if she was hell-bent on seeing to it that she killed Arya. The faceless men were supposed to just be desire-less nobodies carrying out the killing wishes of the highest bidder. The Waif was no more a faceless man than Arya because of her bloodlust towards Arya. In the end, she created the scenario that led to her demise as well. Teaching Arya to fight in the dark was an easy way to make sure Arya can easily gain the upper hand. My only regret is that we didn’t get to see the fight, only the uber gross drippy face of the Waif.
5. Stannis Baratheon
I found Stannis utterly pathetic for most of the show, to be honest. His blind worship of the Red Woman’s advice was based entirely in hubris and clearly demonstrated that his wit was no match for most of the other folks vying for the Iron Throne. I found his actions kind of disgusting but never really hated him until the end; because what he did was so awful that you find yourself saying “at least Cersei wouldn’t burn her own kid at the stake for a win.”
4. Viserys Targaryen
I know this happened super early in the series, but I really, REALLY wanted this guy to get his ass kicked. He essentially sold his sister (whom he also planned on raping) for a chance to get an army. Viserys was the first death in the show that I was actually pumped for, especially because of the way it went down. It left a lasting impact on me, and I think of it fondly.
3. Walder Frey
I hated this man in Harry Potter, but it didn’t even come close to how much I hated him in GoT. His double cross of the Starks was epic and heartless. His treatment of everyone around him made you grimace at the thought of what else he might be doing behind the scenes. The constantly retching girl by his side set forth a wave of nausea when he came onto the screen. The most gratifying part of this death though was who did it. I must admit that I didn’t see it coming until literally a second before it happened, and the “your family’s in the meat pie” thing would give Anthony Hopkins a run for his money. Also, I am now petrified of Arya Stark.
2. Joffrey Baratheon
I wanted Joffrey to die for so long that when it actually happened I felt cheated by how quickly it went. How easy he got it. Poison… ugh. Joffrey was void of empathy, and derived great pleasure from causing others severe physical and emotional pain. His cowardice made him even more pathetic. I legit froze the screen during those last few moments just to savor the experience. Just kidding, I would NEVER do that…
1. Ramsay Bolton
Any list of most hated television characters ever generally has Ramsay Bolton in the top 5. I would wager it’s an unequivocal #1, unlikely to be replaced for a very long time. Ramsay Bolton was a sadistic psychopath who skinned old ladies, tortured people, and stabbed his own father and fed his very much alive pregnant stepmother to the dogs. Nobody, I mean NOBODY, in Game of Thrones deserved a long and painful death more than Ramsay Bolton. Finally watching Sansa get her revenge was so cathartic I almost cried.
What do you think about the list? Did I miss anyone?
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