We here at Double Win Twins consider ourselves pretty die-hard Joss Whedon fans. The fandom runs deep and it’s a frequent occurrence to hear one of us respond to the other using only quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We loved Firefly, Angel, and even Dollhouse… not to mention Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog. As we hastily bought our tickets to the Avengers movies, we also celebrated the ways in which Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was pulling us head first into yet another, Whedon love affair. Plus, with not only Joss Whedon, but also Maurissa Tancharoen and Jed Whedon at the helm as creators, it was like OMG MORE WHEDON IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE LIKE WHAT. Yes, our new obsession, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is turning out to be quite a masterpiece of epic nerd proportions.

One of our favorite Buffy episodes was “Once More With Feeling,” the perfectly crafted, spell-binding musical episode that features every single person singing. Yup, singing. So we got to thinking, (of course solely inspired by overhearing the word “bunnies” on the street the other day) what would happen if the Whedons fashioned a musical diddy for our beloved S.H.I.E.L.D? Who would sing, who would cry, and who would dance? Well… come with me on a journey, gentle viewers…

Act I

In the opening of Act I, we will see our S.H.I.E.L.D. base, abuzz with activity… Melinda is training with Bobbi, kicking and punching in time with the music, Daisy is lecturing a class of newly gifted Inhumans, Coulson is in his office… strategizing something big… and Fitzsimmons is in the lab testing and tinkering along to the beat. They’re all just living the life of S.H.I.E.L.D.

We are all just living the life of S.H.I.E.L.D.,
making the right and tough choices.
Whether in the lab or in the field,
We fight for those without voices.

Until…

Coulson has new intelligence! (Yes, this is Coulson’s solo!) Something’s brewing, He’s got intel on a new location—a new ping on the map labeled “Where in the World is Grant Ward?” Coulson gives the team details and sends Mack, May, and Mockingbird out to do some recon. The three sing about staying under cover.

We got a ping, Ward’s on the map,
And although it’s intell, it might too be a trap.

Before she goes, Mockingbird sings a short vignette to Hunter about a little house with a white picket fence and trip wires.

Hunter: When this is over, let’s start again.
Bobbi: You know what I could go for? A cozy little den…. With a white picket fence, and a welcome mat… a safe room and some trip wires, no we can’t forget that.

Later, Daisy sings an empowering tune to the new Inhuman students about staying in control. This becomes a group number ending with them all laughing themselves into a pile on the ground until one Inhuman floats them all like feathers back to their chairs… they all smile and sigh.

We have to learn to stay in control.
If we don’t keep our heads, real heads could roll!

Enter Grant Ward! We next see the inside of a dilapidated warehouse hideout where Grant Ward and his Hydra soldiers are planning something truly nefarious. They want to kidnap some of the Inhumans in order to use the mind-control devices that Ward has commissioned from his team of evil scientists. Ward sings about how nothing can shield them now. (Pun absolutely intended.)

I’m good at being bad!
While the agents try to track me they’ve no clue what fun I have!

Daisy hears of the recon mission and about Ward’s plan to steal away her Inhuman colleagues. Act I ends with each one singing about their individual goals—Melinda wanting to get revenge on Grant Ward, Daisy wanting to keep her Inhumans’ humanity, Mockingbird and Hunter repeat their vignette, Coulson about keeping the mission on track, and Fitzsimmons about finally going on a real date. Grant Ward appears at the top of the stage playing an M60 like an electric guitar.

Act II

We begin in the lab where Fitzsimmons is working on some decoys to help the team preempt Grant Ward’s impending assault. They sing about not being able to find the words, so instead they’ll use scientific terms and equations.

If we calculate the rate of speed…
With which we fix this problem…
We might come to a conclusion…
We work better in conjunction with each other…

We are again in the heart of the S.H.I.E.L.D. base with Mockingbird and Hunter, who again sing about their promise to spend the rest of their days together. They are interrupted by sirens alerting them to the start of the assault.

There is a frenzy of dancing! Hydra soldiers are stealthily running through the base, and S.H.I.E.L.D. is countering the attack in true dance-off fashion. For a moment, it looks like S.H.I.E.L.D. might have been taken by surprise and just as Coulson steps into the action, Ward appears behind him and shoots him. May runs to Coulson as Ward leaves to find Daisy and her Inhumans, who are tucked away in a hidden room. As Grant Ward blows the door from the room and activates a gadget intended to render Daisy’s and the other Inhumans’ powers ineffective, it looks like Grant Ward has done it!

As the Hydra soldiers enter the room to complete their mission, bars fall around the room, sealing Ward and the soldiers inside. As Grant Ward confusedly scans the room, he notices that Daisy and the Inhumans are actually Life Model Decoys! The real Coulson steps into the scene and in a final blow, reveals that Ward actually shot a Coulson LMD. (Billy and Sam Koenig step out of the shadows and wink at Ward as he makes this realization.) The Inhumans step forward and melt Hydra’s weapons, leaving Ward and his soldiers captured and unarmed.

The Team rejoices that their plan worked and they sing in the finale number, until a new threat comes.

A new threat will always come!
A new threat is just around the corner.
As long as we try to stay ahead of the game we’ll always win.

The curtain starts to close, but then again rises to reveal the small room where Ward and his team are held captive. An Inhuman sneaks up from the dark and melts the bars on the windows, leaving us with a quiet “Hail Hydra.”

The End…or is it?